Coaching and Learning Institute
(CLI) uses these and other tools to help youth mentoring organizations,
such as Portland Impact's MAP program and the "I Have
a Dream" Foundation, to achieve their goals. CLI life
coaches help mentors and other program staff to tailor the
teen life coaching strategies to the needs of the youth they
serve. If you would like to discuss bringing CLI coaches to
train and support your program, please contact CLI at info@coachingandlearning.com.
Guidelines
for Using Life Coaching Tools
- A key goal for using these tools is to create
a vivid, specific picture of yourself—particularly
your strengths and powers—now and in the future. Avoid
verbal analysis. Go for details instead, which help you
communicate with your subconscious.
- By using these tools with others (either
a young person or a fellow staff member, in pairs or small
groups), you are developing trust. Acknowledge the positives
in what you hear, and keep your judgments to yourself.
These tools are intended to be exploratory. What you learn
about each other is the point, not literally what you say
while using a tool. Be curious and ask questions.
- Give a tool time to work. If the time remains
unproductive, discuss it with your partner(s). If possible,
try to respond to what your partner says by adapting the
tool. Remember, this is a learning process, not a strict
regimen.
- Be patient and try not to get frustrated.
Every tool is different, and so is every person who uses
it.
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Sample Tools
Identifying Passions
The Life Spinner
Collage
Grape Cluster
Identifying
Passions
Ask your partner (e.g., young person, fellow staff member) to talk
to you about what he or she likes, or loves. You can explain that
you want to understand him or her better, especially what excites
him or her. Ask your partner to talk as long as possible on this
topic—at least ten minutes. Tell him or her to say whatever
comes into his or her mind. Say that you might ask some questions,
but that there are no right or wrong answers—this is about
whatever the partner wants to share. Tell your partner not to worry
about being organized, but to just let the words spill out of his
or her mouth.
Be extremely curious. We work with trainees to help them learn how
to ask specific questions to help their partners get started, and
to adapt their approach to the cognitive and creative strengths
of their partners. For example, “You said you like to read.
What subjects do you like to read about? What kinds of characters
are in the books you enjoy reading?”
As your partner talks, your job is to listen attentively and help
your partner clarify his or her passions. Note that some of the
best material comes after the speaker complains that he or she cannot
possibly say another word. Urge him or her to continue past that
point. Listen for and write down the themes you hear, using key
words, such as “adventure” or “being outdoors.”
(You can also save these notes to use in planning future activities
to do together.) Next, review these themes with your partner so
that he or she can clarify and make corrections. For example, find
out if “escape” means running away or fantasy and imaginative
freedom. It is good to discuss these themes together and agree to
review the list at a later date.
Use this list as a “touchstone” for future life coaching
activities and exercises. And when discussing plans for the future,
even next week, ask which of these themes could be involved. This
tool can be adapted and expanded for use with a group.
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 The
Life Spinner is a key tool used by the
coach to help young people make connections between their strengths
and interests and other important areas of life, such as school.
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Collage
Collage is self-expression through imagery. It speaks powerfully
to the subconscious. Use magazines, newspapers, Web site printouts,
and other visual materials to create the collage. Encourage your
partner (e.g., young person, fellow staff member) to try different
methods: searching for specific images or gathering whatever strikes
him or her while browsing casually through the materials. Help your
partner to include images in the collage even if uncertain about
what they mean. If you develop a collage together, you can model
this approach.
You may or may not want to start out with a theme for the collage.
We use collage to help mentors and mentees get to know one another.
We also suggest using a finished collage as raw material for the
Values Exercise. You can work with your partner to identify themes
or values based on the images in the collage. Or, you could identify
the values first, and then create a collage organized around one
or more of these values.
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Grape
Cluster
On a paper, your partner (e.g., young person, fellow staff member)
draws a few circles large enough to fit a few words inside. Make
sure the circles touch, as grapes would on the vine. The reason
for this is to make a strong message to the subconscious that these
issues or pictures are all connected. If you get one of them
you get them all!
Now have your partner sit for a moment and ask him or herself, “What
do I most want in life?” If good at visualizing, he or she
might even close his or her eyes. Tell your partner to let pictures
come to mind, and try not to sort or qualify or judge them.
Whatever comes to mind is put in a “grape,” in visual
terms. These must be pictures, not ideas, i.e., “I am
petting a new dog,” “I am opening a letter of acceptance
to medical school,” “My father touches my arm in sympathy.”
The main consideration is generating pictures. The subconscious
does not respond to words, teachings, or lecturing.
It only responds to pictures. People often try to do the exercise
using concepts like “freedom,” but that is not a visual
picture. “Riding my bicycle all over the city” is a
picture your partner can see in his mind, one that may imply freedom
to him, which is what we are after in this exercise. One of you
should fill in the grapes with these images. You may end up with
10, 15, 20, or more.
When finished, you can both sit back and look at the cluster. Are
there themes? Did your partner name five that had to do with
school or sports? Perhaps the majority were about his or her physical
well-being? Were any of the grapes centered on friendships? At
some point, your partner will have a sense of what group of grapes
has the most meaning for him or her at this time, and that is where
you both can direct your attention initially. This is the area your
partner wants to explore and learn about. Pick a grape that brings
a smile to your partner’s face, or makes his or her heart
jump. This is the area where our life coaching approach begins to
move from “vision” to “action.”
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| © Copyright 2005 Coaching
and Learning Institute |
Coaching
and Learning Institute Portland Oregon | Jacqueline
Raphael | Don
Clarkson | Mentoring
Youth in Portland | Life
Coaching for Teens in Portland Oregon | Contact
the Coaching and Learning Institute | Mentoring
Youth Resources | Coaching
and Learning Institute Portland | Coaching
and Learning Institute | Jacqueline
Raphael, Life Coach
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